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what. is. going. on. with. me?!
i fear i may actually be going crazy lol
please tell me i am not alone.
i just turned 27 on the 11th of June, and its not been an easy transition in the least. i feel almost shame when i try to do things, like for example, creating my own webpage, the music i listen too, the things i am interested in, the clothes i like, its almost everything.
i feel like i am past the age that i can enjoy or proudly rep those things for lack of better words lol.
like i get really really discouraged, I've never cared or was embarrassed of my age before, but its that number.
27. it looks so big, so mature, pressure, pain, visible ageing, no more messing around type beat. I HATE IT, i love to create and explore all paths of art and creativity, why am i being made to feel like i should not be and i cant even give an example of how or from whom I'm being shamed, i just FEEL like i am , i feel it. it could very well be all in my head but i really don't think so.
i use to be so unapologetically me. in every way shape and form, i miss her so bad sometimes.
i have also very rarely experienced true shame, so this is crazy to me and i want to believe i am wrong and that there are other girls my age who like the things i do and who nerd out, because same i just wanna feel sunny again, light, happy and proud of who i am and who I've become.
currently spiraling and rambling and repeating myself just really sad abt how I've been feeling as of late.
ttyl,
lele bean